Yes, yes, I realize that I've let another blog languish. What can I say, that is how I roll.
Anyway, i'm agitated today so here is a very short list of things that piss me off.
1. "Supposably". As in "Supposably, I am a douchebag." It's not "supposably", douchebag, it's "supposEDly". I don't know why but that drives me crazy.
2. "The Chia Pet was from Mildred and I." This is another common grammar mistake, so common that I'm often corrected by morons when I speak properly. "From" is a preposition. One needs an OBJECT at the end of a prepositional phrase (an object is me, him, her, them). If you put a SUBJECT at the end of a preposition, then not only are you wrong, but you sound like a pretentious retard who is trying to "talk all fancy" (that is the technical term, by the way). The sentence above should read "The Chia Pet was from Mildred and ME.", because if you take Mildred out of the sentence, what sounds better? "from I" or "from me"? Whatever. Also drives me nuts. Grr.
Ok, that's it, I have 15 more minutes to kill before I'm out of here. Hooray.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Type the nerves away
I'm leaving for Florida in four and a half hours, and I'm kind of silently freaking out at my desk. You see, I'm not a good flyer. I get claustrophobic and panicked, and on most flights, I wind up drinking vodka the whole time, and I arrive at my destination calmer but shitfaced.
Today, I'm going to try to be more zen about the whole thing, but I know my thoughts will be like this for the whole two hours I'm up in the air.
"Dear God. Please don't let me die. I have a lot of stuff to do, and I have a lot of cool people who will be sad if I die. I think. So please, keep this damn plane in the air!"
"Sorry God, not trying to boss You around or anything, but I'm really freaking out here."
"Dear God, thanks for inspiring a scientist to create Xanax. It is pretty awesome."
"La la la. Empty brain. More peanuts, please!"
Time to roll. Wish me luck. If I crash, well, it was nice knowin' ya!
Today, I'm going to try to be more zen about the whole thing, but I know my thoughts will be like this for the whole two hours I'm up in the air.
"Dear God. Please don't let me die. I have a lot of stuff to do, and I have a lot of cool people who will be sad if I die. I think. So please, keep this damn plane in the air!"
"Sorry God, not trying to boss You around or anything, but I'm really freaking out here."
"Dear God, thanks for inspiring a scientist to create Xanax. It is pretty awesome."
"La la la. Empty brain. More peanuts, please!"
Time to roll. Wish me luck. If I crash, well, it was nice knowin' ya!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Gun Control means Hitting Your Target
Wow! Today is so fun.
I don't usually like to talk about this kind of stuff because one never knows when her blog will be found by coworkers or bosses, but I have to get this off of my chest or I swear to God I'm going to beat the shit out of somebody.
At my job, we do both service and sales for a nationwide cell company infamous for their shitty customer service. It's very fast paced, and I make commission for sales, so the money isn't too bad. Also, when I leave the office for the day, I can truly unplug. Any problems that my customers experience can definitely wait until tomorrow. If they can't? Well, customer service is 24 hours, why don't you try them?
Part of our service department depends on technicians who analyze and fix phone problems. One of our longterm techs, who was socially retarded but a genius with technology, recently got another job, and my company hired his younger brother as his replacement.
His younger brother is lazy, slow, and unwilling to learn. We might have 10 phones sitting in the back for repair, and brother will be looking at a video game forum. I need to go smoke right now because otherwise I'm going to strangle him.
"Have you seen this phone?"
"Wha?"
"Phone. The one you were just working on. Is this it?" I said pointing at a phone. "Is this one it?"
"How would I know?"
"Because you were just working on it."
"Well, I dunno. Maybe [coworker] took it."
So I called the phone number.
I then went into the back. "Hey, a second ago, did this phone ring?"
"I dunno."
"It's right..." I refrained from saying 'fucking' "...in front of you."
"Well I don't know."
"Is there anything you *do* know? Jesus!" And I kind of stormed my ass out of there.
That wasn't very professional. I know, but I'm snapping here. I understand if people are disabled, but here is an able-bodied (and presumptively able-minded) 19-year old, punk ass kid, who doesn't give a shit.
I don't know what's worse though--dumbass punk, or the "service manager" who doesn't do a goddamn thing when it comes to punk's slacking, who sits in a tunnel-visioned bubble all day, and unless I practically shake him out of his reverie, he seems to remain clueless to the chaos for which he's responsible. Grr! Normally, the manager is a very astute person, clever, hard working. I can't believe that he's turning what seems to be a blind eye to this situation.
Seriously, people. I'm almost at my breaking point.
I need to win the damn lottery.
I don't usually like to talk about this kind of stuff because one never knows when her blog will be found by coworkers or bosses, but I have to get this off of my chest or I swear to God I'm going to beat the shit out of somebody.
At my job, we do both service and sales for a nationwide cell company infamous for their shitty customer service. It's very fast paced, and I make commission for sales, so the money isn't too bad. Also, when I leave the office for the day, I can truly unplug. Any problems that my customers experience can definitely wait until tomorrow. If they can't? Well, customer service is 24 hours, why don't you try them?
Part of our service department depends on technicians who analyze and fix phone problems. One of our longterm techs, who was socially retarded but a genius with technology, recently got another job, and my company hired his younger brother as his replacement.
His younger brother is lazy, slow, and unwilling to learn. We might have 10 phones sitting in the back for repair, and brother will be looking at a video game forum. I need to go smoke right now because otherwise I'm going to strangle him.
"Have you seen this phone?"
"Wha?"
"Phone. The one you were just working on. Is this it?" I said pointing at a phone. "Is this one it?"
"How would I know?"
"Because you were just working on it."
"Well, I dunno. Maybe [coworker] took it."
So I called the phone number.
I then went into the back. "Hey, a second ago, did this phone ring?"
"I dunno."
"It's right..." I refrained from saying 'fucking' "...in front of you."
"Well I don't know."
"Is there anything you *do* know? Jesus!" And I kind of stormed my ass out of there.
That wasn't very professional. I know, but I'm snapping here. I understand if people are disabled, but here is an able-bodied (and presumptively able-minded) 19-year old, punk ass kid, who doesn't give a shit.
I don't know what's worse though--dumbass punk, or the "service manager" who doesn't do a goddamn thing when it comes to punk's slacking, who sits in a tunnel-visioned bubble all day, and unless I practically shake him out of his reverie, he seems to remain clueless to the chaos for which he's responsible. Grr! Normally, the manager is a very astute person, clever, hard working. I can't believe that he's turning what seems to be a blind eye to this situation.
Seriously, people. I'm almost at my breaking point.
I need to win the damn lottery.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
In which I rant
I'm in a pissy mood today, and one thing that helps me when I'm angry is to chop things.
My lunch hour starts in a couple minutes, and I'm going to go get some stuff that I can prep for tonight's dinner.
I think this sounds pretty good, and I'm excited to make it.
1 loaf French bread, sliced in half lengthwise
2 tbsp olive oil
4 roma tomatoes, seeds removed and chopped
1 shallot, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup fresh basil chiffonade
1/2 lb shrimp, tails removed
6 oz bacon, chopped
Shredded mozzerella cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
Italian seasoning to taste
Preheat the oven to broil.
Slice the bread, and then brush it with the olive oil. Stick it in the oven, open faced, until it's golden brown and delicious (I <3 Alton Brown). Do not burn it. When it's done, remove it from the oven and set it aside.
In the mean time, toss the tomatoes and basil with salt and some black pepper. Set that aside.
Cook your bacon. When it's almost done, throw in the garlic and shallots. Cook for about a minute, and then add the shrimp. For best results, you should probably use raw shrimp, but I'm lazy as hell, and peeling and deveining shrimp is torture to me. So fuck it. It's not ideal, but cooked shrimp will do. If the people don't like it, they don't have to eat it.
Anyway. Throw in your ingredients and only cook the shrimp for a minute or so if you're using my lazy method. The bacon should be crisp, and the shallots and garlic should be translucent. The kitchen should smell like heaven.
Now. Assemble the beginning of your bruschetta sammich type thing. I like to cook the tomatoes and basil first so the other ingredients don't overcook. So, put your tomato/basil mixture on the bread and put it under the broiler for a couple minutes. For God's sake, watch it closely. This is where I always fuck up when I'm broiling something. I'll go off in la-la land for a minute, and then yay, I burned everything.
After the tomatoes and basil are warmed, place the shrimp/bacon mixture right on top. Top that with shredded mozzerella cheese. I like this stuff. It is fabulous. You could also go really crazy and top it with whatever you want. I think Manchego cheese would be really delicious with this, but I've been obsessed with Manchego cheese lately. So I'm biased.
Anyway, place the toppings on the bread, and stick it under the broiler until the cheese is bubbly and golden brown. Once again, watch your shit so you don't make shrimp and bacon bruschetta briquettes.
Fold the sides over to make it into a sub-sandwich type thing, and then slice the bread down the middle to make two sammiches.
These are big ass sammiches. You could also cut these into smaller parts to serve more people, or if you're into portion control. I'm not, so I'd just eat my half. Screw you, food pyramid.
This would be good served with a fun little salad, but I think that these would be even better. They're like chips, but they're made out of cheese.
Ok, I'm less pissy now. Time for lunch and to do my grocery shopping for what could be a pretty kick ass dinner tonight.
One good thing about starting the day in a rancid mood is that there's nowhere to go but up! So, onward and upward with me!
My lunch hour starts in a couple minutes, and I'm going to go get some stuff that I can prep for tonight's dinner.
I think this sounds pretty good, and I'm excited to make it.
1 loaf French bread, sliced in half lengthwise
2 tbsp olive oil
4 roma tomatoes, seeds removed and chopped
1 shallot, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup fresh basil chiffonade
1/2 lb shrimp, tails removed
6 oz bacon, chopped
Shredded mozzerella cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
Italian seasoning to taste
Preheat the oven to broil.
Slice the bread, and then brush it with the olive oil. Stick it in the oven, open faced, until it's golden brown and delicious (I <3 Alton Brown). Do not burn it. When it's done, remove it from the oven and set it aside.
In the mean time, toss the tomatoes and basil with salt and some black pepper. Set that aside.
Cook your bacon. When it's almost done, throw in the garlic and shallots. Cook for about a minute, and then add the shrimp. For best results, you should probably use raw shrimp, but I'm lazy as hell, and peeling and deveining shrimp is torture to me. So fuck it. It's not ideal, but cooked shrimp will do. If the people don't like it, they don't have to eat it.
Anyway. Throw in your ingredients and only cook the shrimp for a minute or so if you're using my lazy method. The bacon should be crisp, and the shallots and garlic should be translucent. The kitchen should smell like heaven.
Now. Assemble the beginning of your bruschetta sammich type thing. I like to cook the tomatoes and basil first so the other ingredients don't overcook. So, put your tomato/basil mixture on the bread and put it under the broiler for a couple minutes. For God's sake, watch it closely. This is where I always fuck up when I'm broiling something. I'll go off in la-la land for a minute, and then yay, I burned everything.
After the tomatoes and basil are warmed, place the shrimp/bacon mixture right on top. Top that with shredded mozzerella cheese. I like this stuff. It is fabulous. You could also go really crazy and top it with whatever you want. I think Manchego cheese would be really delicious with this, but I've been obsessed with Manchego cheese lately. So I'm biased.
Anyway, place the toppings on the bread, and stick it under the broiler until the cheese is bubbly and golden brown. Once again, watch your shit so you don't make shrimp and bacon bruschetta briquettes.
Fold the sides over to make it into a sub-sandwich type thing, and then slice the bread down the middle to make two sammiches.
These are big ass sammiches. You could also cut these into smaller parts to serve more people, or if you're into portion control. I'm not, so I'd just eat my half. Screw you, food pyramid.
This would be good served with a fun little salad, but I think that these would be even better. They're like chips, but they're made out of cheese.
Ok, I'm less pissy now. Time for lunch and to do my grocery shopping for what could be a pretty kick ass dinner tonight.
One good thing about starting the day in a rancid mood is that there's nowhere to go but up! So, onward and upward with me!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Nothing Exceeds like Excess
Yeah yeah, I set up a new space and then completely abandon it after only two posts. I never said I was the queen of consistency.
I am, however, at least the Dutchess of excess. I'm ridiculous. I haven't been able to stop myself from shopping online over the last couple weeks. It just feels so good to get mail that's not a bill. "Oh, those people at Sephora.com must really love me! Look at these fabulous gifts!"
I'm easily enticed by sephora.com's samples. Last week's deal was seven different eye products, free with your purchase of $25 or more. Spending $25...hell, spending $250 at Sephora is really easy. So, I decided to partake in the special, and I bought...oh I bought the whole fucking store over the last two weeks. I got new mascara (because the ten I own are unsatisfactory...gotta keep trying); I got a lip gloss pencil in bronze; I got some new eyeshadow in Midnight Cowgirl and Acid Rain; and I got some glitter eyeliner because glitter makes everything more fun.
Oh, and it doesn't end there. I found a gorgeous, plum, silk top to go with my linen pants for Agi's wedding, but I'll be damned if I wore flip flops with it. I figured a pair of gold lamme' flats would be quite lovely, so I searched around and found these bad boys. I sure hope the mary jane strap will fit over my swollen-ass foot.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention the glut of books. I don't want to go into detail because I'm kind of ashamed now that I've written it all down.
Speaking of ashamed, I can't really look at myself in the mirror because of my lunch. Bask in the glory of the Loaded Steakhouse Burger from Burger King.
I call it the Shameburger because that is the only emotion I can register after consuming that greasy, salty, trans-fatty monstrosity.
It was good though.
Really good.
Quadruple bypass good.
I'm going to stop slacking right now and get back to work! Chop chop! Hear that whip a crackin'! Need to make some money so I can support my make-up and ridiculous burger habits.
I am, however, at least the Dutchess of excess. I'm ridiculous. I haven't been able to stop myself from shopping online over the last couple weeks. It just feels so good to get mail that's not a bill. "Oh, those people at Sephora.com must really love me! Look at these fabulous gifts!"
I'm easily enticed by sephora.com's samples. Last week's deal was seven different eye products, free with your purchase of $25 or more. Spending $25...hell, spending $250 at Sephora is really easy. So, I decided to partake in the special, and I bought...oh I bought the whole fucking store over the last two weeks. I got new mascara (because the ten I own are unsatisfactory...gotta keep trying); I got a lip gloss pencil in bronze; I got some new eyeshadow in Midnight Cowgirl and Acid Rain; and I got some glitter eyeliner because glitter makes everything more fun.
Oh, and it doesn't end there. I found a gorgeous, plum, silk top to go with my linen pants for Agi's wedding, but I'll be damned if I wore flip flops with it. I figured a pair of gold lamme' flats would be quite lovely, so I searched around and found these bad boys. I sure hope the mary jane strap will fit over my swollen-ass foot.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention the glut of books. I don't want to go into detail because I'm kind of ashamed now that I've written it all down.
Speaking of ashamed, I can't really look at myself in the mirror because of my lunch. Bask in the glory of the Loaded Steakhouse Burger from Burger King.
I call it the Shameburger because that is the only emotion I can register after consuming that greasy, salty, trans-fatty monstrosity.
It was good though.
Really good.
Quadruple bypass good.
I'm going to stop slacking right now and get back to work! Chop chop! Hear that whip a crackin'! Need to make some money so I can support my make-up and ridiculous burger habits.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Shopping While Intoxicated
This morning, when I checked my mail, I noticed that I had a surprise shipment confirmation from endless.com. I opened the message, and I was dismayed to find that I had bought a truly odious pair of shoes while I was, erm, "spirited" on Friday night. It all came back to me. I bought two pair of shoes, the same design in different colors. I remembered what I'd purchased...and then I thought, "That can't be right. I'd *never* pay money for something that awful." But I was wrong.
What the fuck was I thinking? Shiny, silver, faux-leather espadrilles? This is yet another case where I insist that my laptop needs a car breathalyzer. Thank God for free return shipping. Ugh, I just feel dirty.
Luckily, in black, they aren't horrible...
...but they are pretty boring. Actually, these are on the good side of adequate. Sure, they're not something I'd normally buy, but with an ankle on the mend, I'm extremely limited. They are flat, black, and they have tread. Boo, hiss, meh, whatever.
Honestly, I'm just excited that I'll be able to wear two shoes again soon.
Off to the ritual bathings with me! I smell.
What the fuck was I thinking? Shiny, silver, faux-leather espadrilles? This is yet another case where I insist that my laptop needs a car breathalyzer. Thank God for free return shipping. Ugh, I just feel dirty.
Luckily, in black, they aren't horrible...
...but they are pretty boring. Actually, these are on the good side of adequate. Sure, they're not something I'd normally buy, but with an ankle on the mend, I'm extremely limited. They are flat, black, and they have tread. Boo, hiss, meh, whatever.
Honestly, I'm just excited that I'll be able to wear two shoes again soon.
Off to the ritual bathings with me! I smell.
Word up.
Yay, another blog.
I probably have about 20 of these on various sites. I'd link them but I'm kind of afraid that one of my bosses or a coworker will run across this.
I probably have about 20 of these on various sites. I'd link them but I'm kind of afraid that one of my bosses or a coworker will run across this.
So, let's just say that I like to write. I'm not very good at it, but I find it cathartic. Rest assured, I'm not going to foist my shitty poetry upon you, or talk about my innermost feelings.
One of my best friends is in town and will get here soon, so off I go for now. Stay tuned for idiocy and self-indulgence.
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