In which I rant

I'm in a pissy mood today, and one thing that helps me when I'm angry is to chop things.

My lunch hour starts in a couple minutes, and I'm going to go get some stuff that I can prep for tonight's dinner.

I think this sounds pretty good, and I'm excited to make it.

1 loaf French bread, sliced in half lengthwise
2 tbsp olive oil
4 roma tomatoes, seeds removed and chopped
1 shallot, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup fresh basil chiffonade
1/2 lb shrimp, tails removed
6 oz bacon, chopped
Shredded mozzerella cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
Italian seasoning to taste

Preheat the oven to broil.

Slice the bread, and then brush it with the olive oil. Stick it in the oven, open faced, until it's golden brown and delicious (I <3 Alton Brown). Do not burn it. When it's done, remove it from the oven and set it aside.

In the mean time, toss the tomatoes and basil with salt and some black pepper. Set that aside.

Cook your bacon. When it's almost done, throw in the garlic and shallots. Cook for about a minute, and then add the shrimp. For best results, you should probably use raw shrimp, but I'm lazy as hell, and peeling and deveining shrimp is torture to me. So fuck it. It's not ideal, but cooked shrimp will do. If the people don't like it, they don't have to eat it.

Anyway. Throw in your ingredients and only cook the shrimp for a minute or so if you're using my lazy method. The bacon should be crisp, and the shallots and garlic should be translucent. The kitchen should smell like heaven.

Now. Assemble the beginning of your bruschetta sammich type thing. I like to cook the tomatoes and basil first so the other ingredients don't overcook. So, put your tomato/basil mixture on the bread and put it under the broiler for a couple minutes. For God's sake, watch it closely. This is where I always fuck up when I'm broiling something. I'll go off in la-la land for a minute, and then yay, I burned everything.

After the tomatoes and basil are warmed, place the shrimp/bacon mixture right on top. Top that with shredded mozzerella cheese. I like this stuff. It is fabulous. You could also go really crazy and top it with whatever you want. I think Manchego cheese would be really delicious with this, but I've been obsessed with Manchego cheese lately. So I'm biased.

Anyway, place the toppings on the bread, and stick it under the broiler until the cheese is bubbly and golden brown. Once again, watch your shit so you don't make shrimp and bacon bruschetta briquettes.

Fold the sides over to make it into a sub-sandwich type thing, and then slice the bread down the middle to make two sammiches.

These are big ass sammiches. You could also cut these into smaller parts to serve more people, or if you're into portion control. I'm not, so I'd just eat my half. Screw you, food pyramid.

This would be good served with a fun little salad, but I think that these would be even better. They're like chips, but they're made out of cheese.

Ok, I'm less pissy now. Time for lunch and to do my grocery shopping for what could be a pretty kick ass dinner tonight.

One good thing about starting the day in a rancid mood is that there's nowhere to go but up! So, onward and upward with me!

Nothing Exceeds like Excess

Yeah yeah, I set up a new space and then completely abandon it after only two posts. I never said I was the queen of consistency.

I am, however, at least the Dutchess of excess. I'm ridiculous. I haven't been able to stop myself from shopping online over the last couple weeks. It just feels so good to get mail that's not a bill. "Oh, those people at Sephora.com must really love me! Look at these fabulous gifts!"

I'm easily enticed by sephora.com's samples. Last week's deal was seven different eye products, free with your purchase of $25 or more. Spending $25...hell, spending $250 at Sephora is really easy. So, I decided to partake in the special, and I bought...oh I bought the whole fucking store over the last two weeks. I got new mascara (because the ten I own are unsatisfactory...gotta keep trying); I got a lip gloss pencil in bronze; I got some new eyeshadow in Midnight Cowgirl and Acid Rain; and I got some glitter eyeliner because glitter makes everything more fun.

Oh, and it doesn't end there. I found a gorgeous, plum, silk top to go with my linen pants for Agi's wedding, but I'll be damned if I wore flip flops with it. I figured a pair of gold lamme' flats would be quite lovely, so I searched around and found these bad boys. I sure hope the mary jane strap will fit over my swollen-ass foot.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the glut of books. I don't want to go into detail because I'm kind of ashamed now that I've written it all down.

Speaking of ashamed, I can't really look at myself in the mirror because of my lunch. Bask in the glory of the Loaded Steakhouse Burger from Burger King.



I call it the Shameburger because that is the only emotion I can register after consuming that greasy, salty, trans-fatty monstrosity.

It was good though.

Really good.

Quadruple bypass good.

I'm going to stop slacking right now and get back to work! Chop chop! Hear that whip a crackin'! Need to make some money so I can support my make-up and ridiculous burger habits.